Of the Moon, Of The Sea, Of The Sun, Of The Earth

I have HIV. Dr. West's gave it to me. It's not my fault. Bye.

I love you, all of you.

Thanks for going through this journey with me.

P.S Dreamwidth. I'm playing Rinoa Heartilly in this journal mostly.

https://lionhearter.livejournal.com/ This is my actual journal. This is basically reactionary therapy for pissed off Rinoa cosplayers/livers who need a chill pill, take off the ring from around their neck and fucking be your own person. wear a fucking bag like ariel and make that sexy, not that damn blue outfit. *rolls eyes.* Someone stole my lionhearter journal and I am soooo pissed off.

I know it seems like I constantly switch personalities, but damn it, who I am is a private, nervous asshole, who just wants to help humanity. I'm Selphie honestly, but I am not her. That's why she kept running from Irvine, she already helped him. She wanted Squall but she knew Rinoa was someone he'd want more. She didn't feel like she'd be worth it. Selphie didn't want anyone's attention other than his, that's why she was constantly doing stuff to make him happy outside of their heads. It was ..Selphie who got him to feel, but it was Rinoa he fell in love with mistakenly.

My mom asked me one time, who I thought was more beautiful out of the two Selphie or Rinoa; I said Selphie. She said No, I think Rinoa is more beautiful. He looked at her and said No, Selphie isn't crazy. She just wants love, she's afraid of it. At least that's what my thought was at the time. I think I gave my mom a dirty look otherwise. My sister is a Rinoa type. She borrowed my personality, but I was trying to help her because she has schizoid. I'll explain why I didn't find Rinoa Beautiful, Rinoa knew Selphie loved Squall, it was in the way they were always in the same group together. TEE-HEE mY GROUP! Everyone else chose Rinoa, and her useless limit breaks. BAKAS! Selphie had SLOT, Do you know how useful that's shit was? It made the game a breeze. Using Rinoa is a challenge, but fuck you, why should life be that hard? The only time you're panicking with Rinoa in the group is durin the alien take down and then you're like AHHHHHHHHHH BAKA! WHY DIDN"T I LEVEL YOU UP!?

Selphie was actually depressed, and liked to act happy so no one worried about her. Tee-hee. Selphie feels like an ass, but she'll be okay. I'm turning this into a Rinoa journal from here on out. Love you guys! Sorry for the trouble!

I'm constantly scouring a certain roleplay community for fun times. There is a problem that is bothering me, and I"ll be honest why I don't answer when I should. (I play video game/anime characters lately, and there's a lot of real life. I'm about to say fuck you and answer as Jughead or Squall Leonhart with a face, but I think he hates it when people use him for Squall AHHH BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA! Fuck it I gotta give someone help, I'm going to make an OC using said person's face)

Okay, firstly, girls are being left in the dust like always.

Guys that aren't pretty boys are being ignored unless the character is another man.
Roleplayers, you're selfish. Backwards, stuck up, asswipes. And the games? Are too hard to get into, no matter how good you are at the character at the end of the day.

You act like this is a job, OR an casting call for Hollywood. It's neither. Get over yourselves and start playing together truly, also keep your games from becoming elitist. I'm sick of this shit.

P.S Only the smut threads are getting answered there. I'm about to start making my own memes and see what happens. *deep breath.* Let's see what's up and try to give people something interesting to answer to without it being sexual. =/ I got an idea. Brb.

Do you know why I love you so much? I knew you'd need a girl who wouldn't ever want you for anything other than who you are and what you can provide for her without being a money hungry bitch. I knew you'd need a girl who didn't want to walk all over you or take advantage of you. You're not the kind of guy who wants sex all the time, you want to cuddle, read a book together and get forehead kisses too like you're precious, when you actually are. You're the kind of kind of guy that goes you cooked seven days last week, it's my turn. You're the kind of guy who tries to be this way with girls but they always want to order take out, or get piss poor drunk. You're the kind of guy who wants to be rode gently and made love to and not sit there and be used like a cheap paper doll.

Girls today tend to be like, I don't even know, they tend to act like men which drives me nuts. Fuck em and leave em kinda girls. I'm not that way, but I don't feel worthy of your love because I'm not skinny and pretty and my pictures don't look right, right now because they made me cannibalize shit at this facility so my face looks horrible to me at the moment.

You're the kind of guy that wants to make out underneath an awning, while it rains, you're the kind of guy who wants a hand down his pants discreetly if you give permission, but at the same time you're shy and reserved when it comes to sex, even with someone you've been with for awhile. You're the kind of guy who wants a twizzler or two but you'll probably smack someone in the face with it. I do the same thing, strangely. You're the kind of guy that gave up war games because they were fucking with your head, you're the kind of guy who plays fantasy games and tries to find healthier, softer choices in media in order to keep your mind sharp, pure and good.

You're the kind of guy who likes spending time with friends, everyone acts like you date too much, but you're looking for the love of your life and you're looking in all the wrong places. You knew it was me, you had a feeling but you were afraid no one would understand because people kept us apart all our lives. Am I your soulmate? I'm pretty sure. You're the kind of guy that runs away when I'm not what society wants, because you worry about what others think too much. You were my favorite subject to play but people wouldn't let me which made me angry. You're like Squall but this whole other breed of Squall. Do you understand? You're not a cookie cutter super hero, more like this intricate piece of the puzzle, several pieces altogether and I'm the rest of the pieces but you hate admitting it or at least used to.

You're overly complicated and more emotional than people give you credit for. You're a happy go lucky asshole, but you can be very quiet and withdrawn when the need arises. You're the most beautiful person I ever met, the kindest, sweetest person. You don't give hugs to strangers, but you do want to like I want to. You try giving people privacy, but when you see a crying woman, you try to discreetly give her something sweet or a napkin. You ask if she wants a hug, you don't just throw one on her. You're very aware of personal boundaries.

You want road head, but girls hate giving head. Not all, but a lot. They usually will out of obligation because you bought them dinner. Guess what? I'm the type of girl that wants to drop to her knees and give you oral because I love you, not because you're the provider. Just just because you're a sweetheart and I want to see you sleepy and sated.

You're funnier than you think and you have the most adorable laugh, sometimes you cackle like me and it's hilarious. in a good way. That's all I want to say. Guess this is a love letter to say Hi, Aaron/Abel/Cesar. I love you. I'm sorry for keeping my distance, but I'm scared of my own intensity and guys like you. I don't stalk, I don't even know your social media accounts (I know you have a blog called when in Rome! I never read it though, I'm always scared to) I just look for pictures when I want to play a character and usually you're one of the faces I like to you. Out of everyone I used, you're the only one I fell in love with. The only one my heart truly belongs to and you don't even know who I am. It sucks being an INFJ, because it hurts my heart. Makes my soul ache.

So, there is no obligation here. No pressure. I just wanted to confess my love.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

P.s Sorry for being so fat, girls are jealous of me and want me to be like really big, so no guy wants me. Stop assuming I'm fat because i eat too much or that I'm lazy. Okay? I'm actually active as long it seems like no attractive guy is interested.

P.P.S

I gave you a heart. You grew one, from my heart. We share a heart. (Sorry) I spent time as Squall Leonhart in order to let you feel. You took on my emotions and personality, so you never got eaten by anyone. Okay? As celebrities you were in danger of being hunted by higher people in power. I did this with Cesar when I was fourteen. I said I'll be Squall for a little while after playing the game. I had just finished, and I became Squall. I feel again now but I'm always running away from relationships and people, I don't stick around like I used to. I'm fucked up but I'll be okay. I'm basically Rinoa after too much drama/turmoil, but I am not her, I was supposed to be.

Let me out a game secret; Rinoa decided to be a Lion like Squall to protect him, my Squall Squad. So Ultemicia, who is Quistis wouldn't eat him. Just because these men were more interested in Rinoa than her.

I even lived as a boy to achieve this. I'm a bit confused in the head, I flop between boy and girl frequently but I'll be okay. I promise. Thank you for noticing me, Senpais.

Read my userinfo. We're both Squall and Rinoa. We're just not the damn characters. We just share their personalities, who gives a fuck about looks.

I did this for Erica Gomez too, a few women who are narcissist but it didn't work as well for some reason. It only worked on men. They try copying me to a T and it's like, no, cultivate your own things. That's what these men did. I suppose psychopath verses naricissit, a psychopath desperately wants to feel and be genuine, meaning they already feel, so they'll try really hard to use the tool I give them and be different, be themselves, they'll learn emotion and not act as bad as a narc would.

but a narissist would rather act and be a crazy bitch for some reason. They hate feeling, ARGGGGH FEEELINGS WHY? I JUS WANT TO HURT PEOPLE. AHHH BAKA BAKA BAKA! <--- My mother. Whew. I swear.

Erica Gomez wanted to eat Eric Henson, who is Aaron Bell, Cesar Caiser and Abel as well. They were all her 'perfect' Squalls. Guess what Ultemicia was QUistis for different reasons. In her head, her little brother got eaten by a crazy bitch named Craona and she blamed Garden for setting him up to protect her. She hated SeeD after that. She wasn't in love like she thought, but Squall had always been important to her.

AHHH BAKAKAKA I MIGHT BE QUISSY. FUCK YOU BITCHES. BYE. And Selphie. BUt I'm changing Rinoa. Bye. ALSO I AM IN LOVE. DEAL.

ALSO MATRON/EDEA HELPED. SHE IS NOT A CANNIBAL. RHONDA(MATRON) AND DONNA. (EDEA) AHHHH MAMAS MAMAS MAMAS MAMAS! BAKA BAKA BAKA! Matron was their real mom. Now you know, as was Edea. :P It wasn't an orphanage, it was their safe house away from the war with Adel and the other sorceresses. Cid isn't their dad though, but he feels like it to Squall and crew, if they couldn't just remember. Edea/Matron might have been a loose women or she knew she had to have kids to save the future. Yep. I'm going with the latter.

Sorry bio mom. <_< *runs away.*

Erica and Camilla. Stop trying to steal my Rinoa journal. Bye.